


a surprising lack of cat puns

by whatcaniwriteinthis



Series: kurodai week 2016 [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Bad Puns, Cat Puns, Gryffindor Lev, Hufflepuff Daichi, M/M, Slytherin Kuroo, Sorry Not Sorry, Transfiguration, Transformed into a Cat, dont let the title fool you, puns, there are puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-28 14:42:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6333106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatcaniwriteinthis/pseuds/whatcaniwriteinthis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>yeah, kuroo's a cat. he's never helping lev with transfiguration homework ever again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a surprising lack of cat puns

**Author's Note:**

> for kurodai week day 5: Alternate Universe

Tetsurou has been compared to a cat plenty of times- especially that one time he completely destroyed his mom’s curtains and that really wasn’t his fault, honest. Contrary to popular belief, he is _not_ an Animargus- though that would be wicked. He’s never actually been a cat, until now when he was, unfortunately, on the wrong side of the wand while Lev was practicing Transfiguration.

Tetsurou regrets many things, and offering to help Lev with homework is one.

He’s trapped in the robes he was previously wearing, tangled up in the dark fabric. Lev is yelling frantically in a high-pitched voice. He’s going to get them kicked out of the library and then they’d really be in trouble because that would be the twelfth time this week- and it’s only Wednesday.

“Kuroo-san?” Lev yells, sounding panicked. “Kuroo-san, where are you?” The fabric around Tetsurou rustles and then he’s dumped out unceremoniously onto the floor. He hisses and his ears flatten against his head.

“ _Oh_ _no_ ,” Lev wails, looking distraught. He picks Tetsurou up with a surprising gentleness and cradles him to his chest. “I’m so _sorry_ Kuroo-san!” he cries and then burrows his face in Tetsurou.

Tetsurou, who is very busy trying to escape Lev’s grip, doesn’t respond. He can’t anyways because he’s a fucking _cat_ , oh my god he is so done for.

“What’s going on here?” someone behind Lev asks in a serious tone. Tetsurou freezes. He knows that voice. Lev turns around, and Tetsurou’s suspicions are confirmed.

It’s Sawamura Daichi, Hufflepuff prefect, star chaser, cause of _many_ sexual awakenings (maybe even Tetsurou’s own) and all-around Good Guy™. He’s also the _one_ person Tetsurou really doesn’t want seeing him in situations where he looks stupid, but, of course, he’s the one person who regularly does.

“Sawamura-senpai!” Lev exclaims gratefully, which- _hey_! Lev doesn’t call Tetsurou ‘senpai’ even though he helps him with homework! What’s up with that?

“Sawamura-senpai, oh thank God, I really need your help, please help us, oh my God, please.” Lev babbles.

“Okay, okay, slow down.” Sawamura raises his hands and speaks in a soothing tone. “Start from the beginning.” he orders. Lev nods, and does. His grip on Tetsurou relaxes as he explains their predicament to Sawamura. Tetsurou takes this as an opportunity for escape. He wretches himself out of Lev’s arms and lands neatly on his feet on the ground in front of Lev. He raises his chin and sticks out his tail, disproportionately proud of himself.

“Kuroo-san!” Lev yells and dives for him. Tetsurou easily leaps out of the way, but he doesn’t notice Sawamura reaching for him. Sawamura picks Tetsurou up and holds him to his chest.

Tetsurou freezes, unsure of what to do. He is so close he can hear Sawamura’s heart. Tetsurou’s own heart is hammering like it’s about to jump out of his chest, but then Sawamura scratches behind his ears and he relaxes completely, melting in his arms. A low rumbling builds in his chest and it continues as Sawamura’s hand travels down to scratch below his chin.

“Is he _purring_?” Lev exclaims, causing both Sawamura and Tetsurou to stop.

“Maybe,” Sawamura chuckles, and resumes petting Tetsurou, who stubbornly _does not_ purr, but it feels so good, he can’t help but continue.

“Kuroo-san,” Lev laughs. Tetsurou hisses at him, causing him to shriek. He flicks his tail, proud of himself.

“I think we need to take him to Takeda-sensei.” Sawamura says. “And make sure you bring his robes.” Tetsurou has no objections, so long as Sawamura continues to do whatever he’s doing with his hands.

He is glad Lev grabs his robes though. Sawamura is cute an all, but that’s not how he wants to be seen naked for the first time by someone other than his mother or Bokuto.

Takeda-sensei stares at them for a long time once they tell him the situation. So long, that Tetsurou starts getting bored, leaps onto Takeda’s desk and starts batting all his pens off. There are a lot of pens, but he makes sure he misses the essays.

Someone picks Tetsurou back up and he hisses at them. It’s Sawamura, and he calms Tetsurou down with a few well places scratches. Then he sets Tetsurou down on the floor, for him to stare up at all of them, tail flicking. He doesn’t like being shorter than everyone- especially Sawamura, who he is actually taller than.

“Okay, I believe you now.” Takeda says. He whips out his wand and with a few precise flicks Tetsurou is back to normal.

He’s also naked.

Lev throws the robes over him. Tetsurou just smirks up at Sawamura, who looks back with a single eyebrow raised.

“Ten points to Hufflepuff.” Tetsurou says and gestures to all that is Sawamura Daichi. He’s hot, and Tetsurou’s only human.

“Those points aren’t valid.” Sawamura replies. Tetsurou shrugs. He opens his mouth to say something, but then Lev interrupts him.

“I’m so sorry Kuroo-san!” Lev yells and follows it with a deep bow.

“S’okay,” Tetsurou says genially. “But I think you should stick with Yaku for help.” Lev looks cheered at the prospect of more time with Yaku, and Tetsurou feels a little bad for Yaku. Just a little because, as everyone and mother knows, Yaku and Lev really like each other.

“Get your clothes on.” Takeda-sensei orders, as he picks up the pens Tetsurou knocked over. Tetsurou obeys, making sure to give Sawamura a bit of a show.

“So, you wanna meet up at Hogsmeade sometime this weekend?” Tetsurou asks casually, after they’ve thanked Takeda-sensei. Sawamura smirks a little.

“No cats.” he orders. “Meet me at Three Broomsticks at 2.” He grins at Tetsurou’s dumbstruck face and heads towards the Hufflepuff common rooms. Tetsurou watches him go, a goofy grin spreading across his face. Maybe becoming a cat was the best pickup line ever.

 

**Several Years Later**

  
“Well our first meeting was a _cat_ astrophe.” Tetsurou says, smirking.

“Tetsu, _no_ ,” Daichi groans.

“I’m not _kitten_ around.” Tetsurou continues. Daichi makes a noise that is a cross between a beached whale and a walrus.

“I had a good _feline_ about the whole thing, though.” Tetsurou plows on, ignoring Daichi’s pain. “It was really obvious that-” He’s cut off.

“We’re purr-fect for each other.” Daichi deadpans. Tetsurou looks shocked for a moment but then Daichi grins and he grins back.

“Yeah,” he agrees, in a soft mushy voice.

“Okay you two are gross.” Suga declares, and then downs a shot.

 

**Author's Note:**

> what else did you expect? any other house headcannons are totally welcome by the way- they're basically my favorite thing ever.


End file.
